There is a reason you always think he’s texting his ex even when he’s not.
Resolving trust issues starts with learning to truly trust yourself, before you can trust someone else.
Once upon a time, some early human screwed up and gave some other early human a reason to distrust. And from that seed blossomed “trust issues.” Around the globe, in bedrooms, boardrooms, and even on playgrounds, we’ve become a society built on trust issues.
To trust someone, without having trust issues, is to trust ourselves enough to reveal our authentic selves fully.
But, we all have trust issues, and if you say you don’t then I don’t trust you! (Just joking.) So, here are five tips that will help you trust more easily and openly in your life:
1. Trust Yourself
I know it’s already been said, but this is truly the starting point of resolving trust issues. In the somewhat similar words of Ru Paul, “If you can’t trust yourself, how the hell ya ever going to trust someone else?” (Uh hum! Preach, sistah!)
2. Define what Trust means
For you and your partner. Hello, we ain’t mind readers, and if you believe you are, then why are you having trust issues? You’d already know what your partner is thinking.
For the rest of us, ask (as in: your partner … for the info you need) and ye shall receive. Talk about trust. Discuss it! Discover what might make trust issues arise in your unique relationship.
3. Take a look in the Mirror
I hate to say it, but often, trust issues arise because what you see in someone else is an issue directly reflecting something you don’t want to see in yourself.
It could be that you’re fearful your partner is cheating because you’re the considering an affair (or might already be involved physically or emotionally with someone else). You may not even realize it’s causing wicked scripts of “Cheater is as cheater does,” to play out in the fabulous stage play that is your real life.
Look at yourself, and ask, “What’s really going on with my trust issues?” The honest answer may shock you, but it could also stop you from being a crazy maker.
4. Have an open Relationship
GASP. Did I just advocate having an open relationship? YES!
As in an “open, transparent, let’s communicate, and quit hiding that we each have trust issues, admit our stuff” relationship.
No, this doesn’t mean you take on different lovers (although if that makes the trust issues scamper away, more power to you). But what I’m really advocating for is being open and vulnerable so that trust issues become dead non-issues, rather than a dead relationship!
5. Give Trust to get Trust
If you put trust in, you’ll get some back. One of the hardest parts about trust, and resolving trust issues, is giving trust freely. However, when it’s a gift that keeps on giving, then it’s easy to see trust issues retreat.
That said, the moment you take trust without giving it back in return, you’ve abused the vulnerable gesture the other person offered you. And, no one appreciates being abused!
By: youtango.com
