Relationships from the old centuries have come a very long way and have gone through adverse and profound changes. One would have thought that with the advancement of time people will have learnt of better ways to go about certain activities especially those that affect the heart directly.
I am personally saddened at how low the standards of relationships have fallen. How little our integrity and self-respect mean to most of us, especially the ladies. Most of all how far gone we are by throwing away the principles with which we were bathed in by our mothers and great grandmothers, who practically drew in black and white large portraits of how the pictures of our lives should look like. The good way. The right way.
Love is something I absolutely believe in. I believe in the bonds of romance that joins people together. I believe that the heart is entitled to feel something great and big for someone else; for that only goes to affirm in whose likeness we were created, God. I believe in the strength of love to bring even strangers under one goal and agenda. I adore the institution of marriage. And I think it is an absolute beautiful sight when two people are in love; walking on the streets hand in hand, the endless talks on phone at night, exchanging sweet messages among one another… I believe in the love of a couple to make them reinforce their abilities and build each other up.
What I do not believe in is this same love causing one to do away with his or her ‘right mind’. I cannot fathom, for the life of me, why a young lady will decide to pack her things and go live with a man she is not yet married to. As if subjecting our bodies to the sin of fornication is not enough. Maybe people do not really understand the repercussion of this kind of action because like all other things, results can only be seen and lived in the end when everything else has been said and done.
My main issue is why should we as women take up certain actions that put us in difficult positions? Why can we not exercise the virtue of patience long enough for a man to come and plug delicate flowers such as our selves at home? Is it not enough to have a boyfriend whom you can visit and spend a day or two or an entire weekend with? I think it is sweet for a man to come and visit someone he calls his girlfriend, pick up the phone and say “hey baby, I’m in front of your house”.
It cannot be argued, that we are in the twenty-first century where this era of technology, improved living and easily acquirable education has given birth to a more curious, and adventurous generation. However, a foundation for any and everything can be strong only if and when the history and basis of that foundation is continuously remembered and acknowledged. Our mothers and grandmothers never made this kind of impulsive mistakes. Is it that they did not fully understand love, or were they incapable of expressing it to that extent? Or were they just wise enough in taking right and practical decisions?
My dear ladies, let us keep in mind that being beautiful and extremely attractive does not automatically make you someone’s wife. Neither does living with a boyfriend or fiancée guarantee your safe and definite passage to the doorsteps of marriage. Most men will always embrace or suggest the idea of living together, especially because it is to his advantage. I do not believe most young men will pass up the advantage of having the opportunity to have sex more than once a day because he has a lady available to him. Thus he bringing it up or accepting the idea does not mean that he is madly in love and will drive you straight with marriage.
Being a woman is everything. Being a young woman is great because it comes with a whole lot of untapped opportunities. Why be in a haste to close those doors before they are even opened all in the name of “I am in love with him”?. It is an estimable thing to take the right path to the right destination. Graduating to a domestic partner before completing the school of respectable girlfriend is nothing to write home about. Because in the end, it will all be for endless sex, and you having to wash clothes, cook meals, and clean the house for a man who has not paid a single dime over your head. Again, dear ladies, please keep in mind that a good man will be sensible enough to never consider such a thing until he seeks the legal way to do so.
DOLPHINE ADJISAM