Most ladies get thrilled when they have men drooling over them. It makes them feel wanted/needed, special, valued and appreciated. Some men go as far as doing the craziest things to gain the attention and affection of these ladies; from spending huge sums of money on them, purchasing luxurious gifts and shopping, fancy trips and all the crazy but beautiful things men go out of their ways to do for these ladies.

But have you ever wondered why men do these things? What at all would make a man bring forced responsibilities upon himself? Don’t get me wrong, some do these things for genuine reasons (love) but others do not come in ready for love or even a relationship. Yeah I know most of you reading this feature are asking; is she saying it’s wrong for a man to spend on a lady? Is she asking men to stop making ladies feel good like exactly what they deserve? Did she say it’s too much for a man to take a lady he wants on luxurious vacations? Not at all.

Here’s what I’m driving at, I have witnessed a lot of relationships fail after all the luxurious spending and pampering. In the end; the ladies in question had to chase after these men for care and attention. Most of them are shunned and abused verbally in public and private. This is actually the major cause of depression in most women lately.

Let me tell you a story of a friend of mine who I know would not forgive me for this. Julia is a lady I befriended years ago; she was humble and content until she met Jaden. Julia had striking physical features; wide hips, huge butts, sizeable boobs and a pretty face to compliment her looks. Julia never seemed to be in need of anything until Jaden, aka Satan, made her realize what she’s been missing all these while. Jaden made it obvious he was into Julia and wanted to do all it took to have her. From beautiful flowers to expensive ornaments and what haves. Jaden was simply all over Julia and after a few months of trying to win her over, he finally had her. Soon, a relationship started and one night while they one of their numerous vacations in Dubai, my friend decided to give Jaden her cake after several attempts by Jaden. According to Julia, Jaden went for more than four rounds and this act continued throughout their 3 week stay in Dubai.

As soon they returned to the motherland, Jaden changed his attitude towards her. He checked on her less and less every day. Their conversations changed from 4hours a day – 20 minutes – 2 minutes – once a week – twice a month. She put too much energy into something which was no longer valued. She thought about this, cried about it, prayed about it and discussed it with me; then I realized that Jaden felt less attracted to Julia right after sex set in. Before he had her cake, he was very attentive to her needs and wouldn’t go a day without speaking to her even if it meant he had to drive all the way to her residence to see her. This makes it look like Jaden only wanted to get into Julia’s panties to k now how it felt like.

The thing is, women are moved by what they see and hear and hence, men take advantage of this fact to have their way with them.

Dear men, what is it with sleeping with ladies? I have been yearning to know what moves you to want to get in between the thighs of ladies only to dump them after several rounds of hot steamy sex. Why do you see no need to keep the ladies you victimize?  After the sex what next? Honestly, I see the men who do these things as cowards who lack respect for themselves, their female blood relations and for humanity at large. When they see women all they see is “sex”, to them women are nothing more than ‘walking sex toys’. If a man would move heaven and earth to get into the panties of a lady then he can be equated to being a shallow thinker and an aimless man.

The annoying thing is how they ‘sugar coat’ their words in their quest to eat the cake and how they magically turn into strangers after licking the bits of the icing off the plate. This is the reason why the number of single women in the world is rapidly on the rise; because most women have now learnt a great deal of lessons from the renowned daily routine of some men. The hurt and pain women are subjected to after being dropped like sluts cannot be fathomed by men who only see it as normal. My friend Julia, who inspired me to write this piece, suffered depression, lost her confidence and was unable to love again; all she could do well was to transfer the hate and bitterness onto the good innocent men who came her way. Now, do you understand why some women despite their beauties do not want to get cozy and ‘comfy’ with men and prefer to be single?

After the sex in relationships, these myopic sighted men see no reason to accommodate their partners. Pardon me but if it’s only sex you wanted, why not try going to a brothel but waste the time of a beautiful lady by making her think she’s found love?

If you are a man reading this and you fall short in anyway and you are a part of the #teamhitandrun then you better advice yourself and put some respect on our ladies because they deserve it. Make sure you know why you are chasing that sister so you don’t leave her hanging ‘after the sex’.

And if you are a lady, going through this phase; pick yourself up to save the dignity you have left and move on with your life. Being miserable only adds more stars to the trophy he’s already won.

Dear men, please make us understand; after the sex… what’s next?



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