Ladies keep asking me if it’s good to provide for a boyfriend. Whether to give or lend them money, rent accommodation for them, pay for the bride price on their behalf, etc.
The bible says “Feed the hungry! Help those in trouble! Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you shall be as bright as day. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring” – Isaiah 58:10-11 (TLB).
Helping someone is for our own good. It’s like sowing into our future. It’s not an act of business relationship but it’s an act of love; what God expects from us.
This is far different from ‘growing’ a man for marriage, or investing into a man in order for him to marry you in the future. You only give as a friend without expecting anything in return, so even if they leave you, you don’t feel cheated.
Yet some ladies run a relationship like an investment, or an insurance policy with hidden terms and conditions. You are not a non-profitable organization, if you feel like helping someone, bear in mind you are doing that for yourself and because God requires that from you, but don’t be forced to do it.
Never allow any man to manipulate you into taking care of him, all in the name of love. Don’t invest your treasure in a man you are not married to, it will create a strong attachment for you, your heart will be attached to a man who has no plans for you. This has the power to crush you.
Too many young ladies are feeding men they are supposed to be studying for marriage. In case you forgot, your job will be to be his wife and not a mother.
Stop babysitting him, stop providing for him, and stop schooling him, for marriage is for men and not boys.
If you don’t put an end to it now, he will not man up when you are married to him. There is always a difference between a man who needs help and a boy who needs to grow up.
Just as you won’t give your Samsung Galaxy Note 7 or iPhone 7 to a kid to play with, don’t give your heart, life, emotion and future to a boy to toy with in the name of love.
In conclusion “Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NLV). – Counselor Frank Adofoli
